LoudFortress (CANCELLED)
by Rich Lit Lincoln's Productions
Summary: Hey there, thanks for reading my fanfiction and hope to see you on the next story that I made. It's called "Rich Lit Lincoln" and I need you to read it now. It contains the everyday and usual life of Lincoln.
1. Introduction

**First of all I'd like to thank you for coming to my fanfic of LoudFortress. Anyways here's the casts:**

 _Undertale ones(They're gonna be part of the story too as supporting characters):_

Papyrus as President Papyrus

Sans as Sans

 _Loud house ones:_

Lincoln as Lincoln

Lori as Lori

Leni as Leni(Scout's wife)

Luna as Luna

Luan as Luan

Lynn as Lynn

Lucy as Lucy

Lana as Lana

Lola as Lola

Lisa as Lisa

Lily as Lily

 _Team Fortress 2 ones:_

Pyro as Pyro

Engineer as Engineer

Spy as Spy

Heavy as Heavy

Sniper as Sniper

Scout as Scout(Leni's husband)

Soldier as Soldier

Demoman as Demoman

Medic as Medic

 **Yep! Scout and Leni are married now. I'll explain it on the other chapter.**


	2. Chapter 1: Mr President Lincoln Loud

Lincoln is in his room playing Tf2 on his macbook

"LINCOLN!"a scream was heard on the other side of the door.

"Papyrus why did you shout like that?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm going on vacation,sittin on a long day,sippin for some bombay. and I need you to be the president of this land." Papyrus said happily

"If I were the president..." Lincoln is imagining about what will happen if he was the president.

"So yeah I'll see ya around after my VACATION!" and papyrus just called a taxi and drove away.

"Okay so I'm the president and...I'm gonna call Clyde to be my assistant. " Lincoln pull out his walkie talkie and Clyde was there.

"hey linc,wazzup" Clyde said.

"Oh ya know I've become da president of the land"

"Damn Linc,this is huge responsibility and don't be like Donald Trump man."

"Ok m8"

"Oh yeah I totally forgot,Hitler reacted to your show."

"Oh wow is he gonna like rage or something because he liked the show?"

"I think you should check it out."

"Ok and oh yeah i forgot that you'll be my assistant for being the president"

"Ok"Clyde ended up the chat.

 _At Papyrus' vacation_

Papyrus is looking at the internet

"Oh wowie Luan's a Yandere,maybe I should call her and tell her if she had a crush on Lincoln so badly,wowie"

 **Will Luan react to what the great Papyrus had seen on the internet? Will Lincoln will be happy or not if he finds out the "hitler reacts to loud house" video Hitler just made? Find out next time on the story of LoudFortressTale.**

 **"Goodbyeee,FOREVER!" -Merasmus 2012**


	3. Chapter 1:2: World War III

**This is the continuation of the first chapter so enjoy lads!**

 _Ring Ring Ring Ring_ ,"Soldier could you answer the phone,it's ringing."Lori said

"Affirmative!"Soldier answered the call "Hello there maggot and welcome to loud fortresstale residence you scum sucking fruit basket!"

"Why hello there soldier umm could you give the phone to Luan pls"

"LUAN!Get your ass down here and help Papyrus with this!"

"Sure thing,I hope he doesn't get _Bone-ly_ on his vacation,ha ha ha!"

Soldier face-palmed and gave the phone to Luan

"Hey there Paps how's it goin?"

"Hey I've got a question,do you have a crush on Lincoln so badly?"

"..."

"Luan?"

" _Sigh_!,okay I've got a crush on Lincoln since we were 8.I've also killed Ronnie so that she can't take away my Lincoln."

"You do know we have a respawn point right?"

"Wait we have?"

"Yeah,I mean like all around town there's a respawn point ya can't die here,that's the law here."

"Ok but I really love him,until I caught Lincoln having sex with Lucy."

"Holy shit!Is that true?"

"That happened before I get to the appointment."

"Hey how come Lincoln didn't tell me this."

"I guess he's just keeping a secret."

"Eh wutevs,so anyway you'll just have to find some of your sisters to help ya."

"Ok then"

"See ya,oh and don't forget that Lincoln is a child rapist,just kidding lol,byeee!"

"Bye"Luan put the phone down.

 _At the White House_

After Lincoln watched the video,he raged and he shouted

"CLYDE!Come down here this instant!."Lincoln yelled

"Yes Linc?"

"I need you to warn the military base that I said that I want to nuke Hitler's bunker no matter what!."Lincoln said angrily.

Clyde warned the mitlitary that they have to nuke Hitler's bunker no matter what. The nuke hit Hitler's bunker but it didn't have any effect on the bunker(cause you know their nuke can't even melt steel beams tho).

Hitler phoned Clyde and said...

"How dare you nuke my fuckin bunker,now I declare a nuclear war!"Hitler slammed the phone

"My Führer would you like to chillax?"a nazi colleague asked.

"Go fuck yourself!"Hitler responded.

 _At the house_

Luan asked Leni on how to get a boy in Leni's room

"So how to get Lincoln to love me then?"

"Ok first of all you've gotta be protective for Lincoln. Second is you should be sweet around him and thirdly, pls don't kill those people who had feelings for him."

"Ok so first,It's ok. Second,of course i'm sweet and I even make him smile and thirdly,I disagree."

"Well ok if that's what you ,I don't even kill.I didn't even know if some people have feelings for scout too."

"Well I have a feeling,I feel he's a disgrace!"Spy uncloaked himself on the corner

"Well I feel you're just a backstabbing shit!"

Spy and Leni started fighting while Luan walked slowly out of the room.

 _At Papyrus' vacation_

"Thank you for visiting my country and we hope to help you in the near future with obama health care."Obama said

"Anytime African-American spaghetti lover!"

"You're such a racist Mr. Papyrus!"

"Meh,anyway bye!"Papyrus gets into his plane (ikr Paps had a goddamn plane bruh!)

 _At the white house_

"Linc we are under attacked by nazis and protesters."

"Let me see that riot."Lincoln went outside the white house and saw a riot outside the gate.

"What is going on here!."Lincoln ask and everyone said "WE WANT SPAGHETTI!"

"Papyrus is not here sorry."

"Not to worry my fellow citizens!I the great Papyrus is here!" Papyrus came out of nowhere.

"Papyrus your here,how did you-"

"Just shut up and listen,people,please I am here and I will make you some spaghetti!"

Everyone cheered for the spaghetti and Luan is just standing on Lincoln's side.

"Hey Linc,I have something to tell you."

"Yes Luan."

and they talked and talked and after that...

"So that's what happened to Ronnie,ok I forgive you and also I love you too Luan. In a sibling way tho."

Papyrus was crying because of that

"I can't take it anymore waaaaah,HUUWAAAHHHH!cmon man do this shit only in the house okay."

and everyone went back to their home. The end.

 **I know Luan doesn't look like pun-ny today but i'll improve ,did you notice the first appearance of soldier there?Man this is some Romance/Comedy there ain't that right Merasmus?**

 **"Oh yes I love it and I want to see more of these. Ohoohoo I like reading these in my Bombonomicon!"**

 **-Merasmus 2016**


	4. Chapter 2: The rivals

**Hello my beautiful people, I'm going to tell another story on why Lincoln and Gumball Watterson are rivals. You probably not know why but, Lincoln will narrate the story. So please sit back,relax, and enjoy the story.**

It's in a night out at Papyrus' Spaghettiria. Everyone was just talking and suddenly Papyrus ask

Papyrus: "So why did you and gumball are rivals"

Lincoln: "Well you see, last month..."

 _ **Flashback appears**_

 _At the Wattersons residence_

"Brand new show! The loud House." The TV spoken

Gumball: "Ha! It couldn't get better since Nickelodeon is dead anyways."

 _At School_

The bell rang

Agnes: "Meet our new students, the Loud family."

Everyone cheers in joy as someone raged in excitement

Everyone: "Yeah!Woohoo!Fuck yeah!" everyone screamed in joy

"Oh!Oh!Oh! Can you sign my autograph of the loud house?""No, me!""Sign my belly!"

Lincoln: "Everyone liked us!"

As everyone in the classroom start crawling on the Louds, Gumball is just sitting there spying on keeps spying and spying. Even in lunch break he still spies on him. Until 1 hour later, Lincoln is just walking on the hallway and Gumball started pushed Lincoln on the locker's front door.

Gumball: "Okay i had enough of your fame mister! I must be the number one cartoon 'round here and you ruined my fame!"

Lincoln: "Ummm...Fyi,your cartoon is old so nobody cares about you anymore"

Gumball: "I'm going to turn you into a little piece of shit you son of a bitch!"

Lincoln: "Bring it on!"

 _The Bell rang_

Suddenly the fight stopped.

Gumball:"This wouldn't be the last time you'll see me!"

 _At the classroom_

Lincoln is just drawing something while Gumball was writing "U R DEAD" with a skull face on a paper and he made it into a paper airplane. Gumball threw the paper on him and landed on Lincoln's head

"Huh, what's this?" Lincoln said in confused

Lincoln opened the paper and he was angry about it.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Lincoln said in an enraged way

Gumball does the "Your dead" sign in his neck

The two enemies started shouting at each other until their substitute teacher, Toriel Dreemurr, came to the room and saw these two fighting.

Toriel:"Boys, what are you two doing? You know fighting is not tolerated in this class okay."

They both said "Yes ms. Toriel"

 _After school_

Sniper (From TF2) was in the camp van,waiting for Lincoln to get out. "Hey there mate!" Sniper shout in a distance.

Sniper: "So why are you so upset? Is there a problem I can help ya with?"

Lincoln: "Well its just Gumball hates me because he said I ruined his fame."

Sniper: "Well I say you beat the piss out of him!"

Lincoln: "Kick his ass, oh yeah why didn't I think of that? Thanks Sniper."

Sniper: "Anytime!"

 _The next day_

Gumball was just planning something on Lincoln while Lincoln, on the other hand, kidnapped him with a sack until Gumball looses consciousness.

 _At the Loud House_

Gumball was tied up in a chair on a dark room with one light shining upon him.

Lincoln: "Oh great your awake aren't you?"

Gumball: "What do you want from me!?"

Lincoln: "No no. The real question is what do you want from me!"

Gumball: "Well I was planning to kill you literally

Lincoln: "Even if you kill me, I'm still alive because there are tons of respawn points in this country you know."

Gumball: "I just want you to get out of the country you son of a cock!"

Lincoln: "What the hell you just fucking say about me you little bitch?"

Lincoln bonks a bat to Gumball's head

Gumball had untied his hands

Gumball: "Hey overalls,you suck!"

As Gumball said that, he rushed off until he gets out of the house.

Lincoln: "DAG NAGGIT!"

 _At the white house_

Papyrus was just watching the "LEAFY IS WHERE?" video

Papyrus: "Oh hey Linc!"suddenly he change the video to PPAP

Lincoln: "It's Gumball! I cant stop him from stressing me out!"

Papyrus: "Well then I think we have start hunting Gumball using all the police department all across the country. 'Cause I'm the president."

Lincoln: "Well okay then, let's hunt that son of a bitch down!"

 _At the White House_

Papyrus: "Attention all officers across the land! We have a manhunt. And it's going to be Gumball Watterson. Since our former number one cartoon superstar here,Lincoln Loud has been complaining about his recent actions to him. I had been informed that we have to hunt down Gumball and throw him into our Gas Chamber that has been built by my fellow colleague, Adolf Hitler. Thank you for listening and remember...Spaghetti FTW!" The video ended.

Gumball had seen the video on TV. So he managed to escape his house ASAP. Until the cops gone tired for finding Gumball.(Gumball was hiding for like 3 weeks)

 **Okay I hope you've liked the story and please don't forget to comment what are your thoughts about the fanfiction I told you. This is your boy Keemstar signing out.**


	5. The Prequel

**Hey it's been a while since I'm not making any chapters so I'm gonna tell what happened before LoudFortressTale. It's a prequel of the story. Please make sure you read The first 2 chapters. So sit back, relax, and GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM I'M PLAYING MINECRAFT!**

After the monsters were free from the underground, Sans and Papyrus started a restaurant. It was then called "Papyrus' Spaghettiria". The business was doing great. Celebs like Mettaton,Pewds,etc. eats there. Until one day, The president ate there

President:"Fascinating! This Spaghetti was the most tasty spaghetti that I had ever tasted. You are now the president of this country um...what's your name you skeleton chef?"

Papyrus:"Well, the name's Papyrus J. Gaster"

President:"Well Papyrus, I hereby confirm you as the president of Weirdland. You have my rightful seat Mr. Papyrus.

Papyrus was very happy about what happened. He told his friends and Sans that they will now live in the white house. They were all rewarded a small loan of a quadrillion dollars by the government. Papyrus now has a limo, a big house, and some fans. He made Weirdland great again.

 _May 2016_

Papyrus was channel-surfing in his 4k ultra hd flatscreen tv. He saw this commercial.

Advertisement: "Brand new show:The Loud House! coming on Monday May 2."

Papyrus was amazed by its animation and humours. But not Luan's jokes. So he hired Steve Harvey to go to Michigan,USA and tell the Loud family that they will now live on Weirdland. They went to the airport and rode the Weird Airlines. 30 minutes later, some Vietnamese man was dragged out of the plane and leave him alone. The Loud Family landed on World Trade Center AKA Weirdland International Airport. Papyrus greeted them as they tour the whole land. While their house was being carried by 4 military choppers. The tour ended and went to their home.

 _1 day later_

Leni was walking down the street and saw Scout (from TF2 of course). They accidentally bumped each other and meet each other.

Leni:"Oh I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you mister?"

Scout looked into her face and fell in love with her. Her love with Ms. Pauling faded away.

Scout:"Oh...umm...no, not at all."

Leni also looked into his face and also fell in-love by his handsomeness.

Leni:"Like...my name's Leni Loud. What's your's?"

Scout:"I'm Jeremy btw. But people call me the scout. I also call mself scout too."

 **A/N:"His real name is Jeremy for real. Look at the Tf2 comic chapter 7: The naked and the dead.")**

Leni:"So you're like...living here?"

Scout:"Well of course! I always live here."

Leni:"Do you wanna...um...go with me?"

Scout:"Sure! Sure! Why not?"

The two went to the park and hang out. They became best friends. Until Scout confessed that he had a crush on Leni. She then confessed too. The two are now dating. Until 3 months, the two got married. Since Mann co. has a rule that if 1 mercenary got married the others will live at the house of the wife. The RED mercs are now living in the loud house.

 **Forgot to mention that Scout was on the RED team cuz that's the color they used on the mercs on the class lineup picture. So anyways if you like this fanfiction, go drop a comment about what are your thoughts about this story. See you guys next time. Peace!**

 **Merasmus:Ohohoh! So thats how Soldier got his new home. Glad to hear he's not my roommate anymore cuz if he irritate me again while we're sleeping, I'll make sure its the last sleep he'll ever had! I mean...I love this story 10/10...Fools!**


	6. Chapter 3: Hotel part 1

**Hey guys its been a while so yeah here's chapter 3**

Lincoln got a text on his phone. "Honey, me and your dad are going to MTT hotel so stay safe with your mercenaries friends ok" Rita texted

Lincoln: Hey guys! mom and dad are going to MTT hotel without us.

Lori: Meh. Who cares about hotels anyway

Luan: I do!

Lori: Well I don't.

Soldier: Did someone said HOTEL?

Lincoln: Too bad we can't go.

Spy: And why not?

Lincoln: Last time it was a disaster.

Spy: Well then...we're going to...the Trump hotel!

Sniper: Crikey! A'ight let's go mates!

Scout: But do we had the money for it? I mean, it's a 5 star hotel right?

Spy: Does this answer your question?

Spy opens the RED briefcase with lots of money

Soldier: Dear god...that's a lot of money!

Demoman: We're goin!

Leni: Like, I'm gonna pack my things now

Heavy: And I'm going to pack Sandviches!

 _20 minutes later_

As the Louds and the Mercs parked Sniper's van. They got in the hotel but surprised when they saw that its a long,long,line.

Spy: Well this was a dissapointment

Spy looks at the BLU Heavy in front of them

Spy: Do not worry, I have a plan. Oh Heavy! Would you like my precious sandwich?

BLU Heavy turn around and saw Spy waving a sandvich

BLU Heavy: Oh... Moist and delicious... Sandvich...

Spy: You want it? Go get it!

Spy threw the sandvich at the front door

BLU Heavy: I'M COMING FOR YOU!

Spy: All in a day's work

 **To be continued**


	7. Chapter 4: Tohru and Sans part 1

**Hey guys so this chapter for today isn't going to be related to Loud House nor Team Fortress. This is going to be a story about Sans from Undertale tours "them" on Weirdland. You might be asking "Who are they?". Welp, they're the characters from the anime "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid". I've just thought of this because when I started watching this weeb shit from the past few days, It just came to my head that I should make a chapter about this. so yeah anyways...Let's get roight into the scoooops!**

It was a normal,yet,chaotic day in Weirdland. Terrorist everywhere, explosions coming out of nowhere, Godzilla roaming around town, Bill Cipher just doing some weird shit, Memes just being memes like Robbie Rotten tries to catch Sportacus in the middle of the road with zombies ordering Brain spaghetti at Papyrus' Spaghettiria, You name all of it. But at this particular time, Papyrus' was informed by Hitler that a Japanese anime will come to Weirdland and live there from now on. What we see here is Paps talking to Hitler on Skype at this very moment...

Papyrus: Who could that human possibly be?

Hitler: Actually Mr. president... My fellow Nazi colleague here,Gunche,informed me that some japanese anime characters is going to live here at our country Mr. president.

Papyrus: Alright, give me names of our fellow "going to be" citizens' names.

Hitler: I've read their passports so, One of them was Kobayashi-san. She works as a computer programmer in Jigokumeguri System Engineering Inc. Next one is Tohru. Tohru is a female dragon with the ability to transform into a human girl. Sounds like a character from a fairy tale ja? Also she has better tits than Goring,one of my fellows. Okay, third one is Kanna Kamui or Kanna-san, if you would like to call her that. She's a minor who is also a dragon. Another one is Quetzalcoatl or Lucoa as her friends like to call her. Mr. president, this Japanese girl has much bigger tits than Tohru. It says here she's a goddess on another dimension but she was exiled from i don't know anything. It only says here she was exiled from being a goddess that is all. Okay another one is Elma Joui. She's a dragon but she also works where Kobayashi works too. Next one is Fafnir or Takeshi Ooyama. He's a boy who has a calm,yet,ominous look. And another one...Sir this is so tiring.

Papyrus: Go on even if you're tired. Just believe in yourself (even though you killed six million jews).

Hitler:Okay sir. This one is Shouta Magatsuchi. he's a boy with magical powers and magery or something like that. Here we have two normal human beings aside from Kobayashi. These two were Riko Saikawa and Georgie Saikawa. Riko Saikawa was Kanna's friend and Georgie Saikawa is Riko's sister. Phew! That was tiring Mr. president.

Papyrus: Thank you by the way. I'm gonna call my fellow brother Sans for now.

Hitler: Okay Mr. president. I'll go take care of the military now. Thank you for your time. And as always. HEIL THE THIRD REICH!

As soon as the conversation with the two ended. Papyrus immediately called Sans. Sans was busy working at gis brother's restaurant. He was busy arguing with Yazawa Nico because she just cut throught the line.

 _At Papyrus' Spaghettiria_

Sans: Mate! You just fuckin cut through the line lad

Nico: Who cares about your stupid line?! I want my food now because I'm so hungry right now I'm gonna die

Sans: WELL THEN WHY DONT YOU JUST GO BUY AT FUCKIN MCDONALD'S MATE! OH SHIT! I SHAT ME SELF AGAIN BECAUSE OF YOU LAD!"

Nico: WHY WOULD I DO THAT?! THEIR FOOD WAS DISGUSTING! IT HAS BODY PARTS RONALD MCDONALD KILLED MONTHS AGO! IT WAS ROTTEN FLESH!

Sans: FUCK THIS CRAP I'M OUTTA HERE MATES!

As the fat skeleton walked away, the customers got angry at Nico for making Sans leave the building. Few minutes later, Sans' phone was ringing and it was Paps who's calling his phone. He answered it and he heard Paps has important news to give.

Sans: Oh hello again lad! How's it goin mate?

Papyrus: Sans, I need you to be a tour guide

Sans: Tour guide?! What the fuck are you talking about lad?

Papyrus: Look, you see, We'll have another group of people living here at this country Sans.

Sans: So you're saying that I'm gonna wait at the pier until the boat arrive?

Papyrus: That's pretty much about it

Sans: Okay, I'll see them there. I'm just gonna get a tour truck at the retail shop across the street. Welp, gonna get the truck and change my diapers 'cause I shat me self mate! Bye lad!

Papyrus: Bye Sans.

And another conversation ended. As the fat skeleton got his truck. He went to the pier in order to wait for them to arrive.

 _At the boat_

The boat was sailing for 2 hours straight and still... nothing exciting or unusual was happening at this very moment. Except for Tohru, who had kept her joy and excitement for 2 hours long.

Tohru: Are you excited Kobayashi-san? We're finally going to live on Weirdland and we're gonna live in a new apartment which is oddly similar as our apartment back in Japan!

Kobayashi: So much memories of my homeland...Tohru!

Tohru: Yes Kobayashi-san?

Kobayashi: Do you miss home?

Tohru: Home?

Suddenly, memories from her past life with Kobayashi slowly flowing through her mind. She felt a little sad but still, she kept her hopes high.

Tohru: Of course I miss home! I miss our apartment, I miss our friends there. I even miss the salesmen and the saleswomen back at the shopping district on our old home.

Kobayashi: You know what they say, change is scary. But even though you miss something, It's time to move on.

Tohru: Yes. I think you're right Kobayashi-san. I'll look forward to it.

Kobayashi: Good.

The ship is now on the bay of Weirdland. They had foreseen what the inevitable really is. They thought it was a nice peaceful land, but its not. Well there parts of it were nice but mostly the land is chaotic so they have to deal with it.

Kobayashi: Welcome to our new home.

The ship finally arrived at the pier. The ship honks loudly that Sans awoken by surprise of the loud sound. the planks of the ship's exit door had been placed on the pier. The gang finally had taken their first step on the land. Sans surprisingly greeted them after they arrived.

Sans: How's it goin Ms. Hentai Loli? I'm Sans the skeleton and will be your tour guide lad.

Tohru: Hi, I'm Tohru, Kobayashi's drago- I mean maid.

Sans: It's okay mate! We've got lots of dragons here in our land. You don't need to hide your sexy dragony body lad!

Tohru: REALLY?! Kyaaa!

Tohru finally reveals her tail and her wings. She has no longer have to hide her identity from other people.

Tohru: Thank you Sir

Sans: I don't speak Japanese mate but I know every single word you say because people here know how to understand Japanese but do not know how to speak Japanese because they are fucking retarded.

Tohru: Okay then...but...How come we can understand you?

Sans: Simple mate! This is Weirdland and weird shit happens everyday here so it's normal for us that Japanese people understand English.

Tohru: Oh...okay

Kobayashi: Umm Sans.

Sans: Yes lad?

Sans was holding a beer because no one knows where that came from.

Kobayashi: Where should I work now?

Sans: Oh! You can be the secretary of the government. Or if that's too complicated for you, you can work as a cashier register at me brother's restaurant. Now you will be the second Squidward! Am I right lads or am I right Lad?

Suddenly, a LEGO minifigure with a cap and a jumper came out of nowhere.

Lego dude: You are right lad!

Sans: Yes I'm right LAAAADS! So anyways shall we move on to our touring mates?

Everybody said yes and so they got in the truck and they began their new journey.

 **Chapter 2 will be posted on i don't know when so wait till you dead. Also, Sans' personality is based from Sans on a youtube series created by SmashBits "If Undertale was realistic". Also I'm gonna put some lines on the other characters on the next chapter so see you soon lads!**


	8. Chapter 4:2: Tohru and Sans part 2

**Hey it's ya boi Ianpb and today were gonna continue where we left out. So grab your popcorn,sit back,relax,and enjoy the fanfic.**

Meanwhile, the gang started off to WTC (The World Trade Center which was still burning until now and never falls).

Sans: Welcome to World Trade Center!

Tohru: Wow! There's so many things being sold.

Sans: But Walmart is still better than this place.

Tohru: What's Walmart?

Sans: We're going there later but right now...let's...go...THRIFT SHOPPING!

Everybody bought some stuff right there while a music from Macklemore is playing as the background music.

 _A few shopping later_

Tohru: Wew! That shopping spree was fun.

Kobayashi: I know. I even bought this pills to relieve my back pain

Fafnir: Hm. They even sell high quality games like GTA V which they say it's based on violence.

Lucoa: Aah finally! Got some clothes from a product called "Gucci"

Sans: It's nice you came along. Welp, next stop, me brother's restaurant

Now they've headed to the heart of the country, Papyrus' Spaghettiria.

Sans: So...what do ya wanna order mate?

Kobayashi: Um...(so many pastas here)...I'll take 2 ordinary spaghetti with drinks. 1 for me and 1 for Tohru.

Kobayashi looks towards Kanna

Kobayashi: Hey Kanna, what do you want to order?

Kanna was still looking at the menu until she saw a kiddie meal with a free toy.

Kanna: I want a kiddie meal with the toy

Kobayashi: You heard her.

Sans: Okay, since I'm in-charge of me brother's restaurant, I'll just go tell our chefs to cook it for you guys and if they don't get back to work I'll just give them bad time. So anyways, Fafnir, Lucoa, Shouta, and Elma, what do you wanna order mateheads?

Shouta: Don't you mean "Meatheads"?

Sans: Nah mateheads. MATES!

Shouta: Oh...

Sans: So what you guys wanna order?

Lucoa: I think I'll have some Carbonara.

Sans: But how 'bout your drinks mate?

Lucoa's smile went serious when she heard what kind of drinks she's gonna get.

Lucoa: Drink? I can have some, but at least let me check it for curses first

Sans: Woah mate slow down! Why are you saying our drinks here have curses or magic and shit?

Tohru:(glanced at Lucoa) Probably because she was driven out of her seat as a goddess thanks to liquor. She was forced to drink liquor her comrade had cursed, and in her drunken stupor she went to her little sister and-

Lucoa: DON'T SAY IT IN FRONT OF OUR FRIENDS HERE!

Sans: So you're saying she got smashed and thrown from her seat as being a goddess?

Lucoa: Please don't talk about it.

Sans: Ok. So, what kind of drinks do you wanna order? After all our drinks here is curse-free and we got some Coke here.

Lucoa: Ok I'll have some Coke. But, are you sure this Coke here is curse-free?

Sans: Of course mate! And if this drink here have curse then this restaurant have a lawsuit pending by now.

Lucoa: Ok

Sans: So Shouta, what do you want to order?

Shouta: I'll take the kiddie meal too but minus the toy please.

Sans: Sure thing. And how about you Fafnir? You wanna order something?

Fafnir: Just an ordinary spaghetti. But make it perfect or I will tear those chefs from limb to limb.

Sans: Don't worry, just tell me if it's imperfect and I'll be in charge of 'em. So Elma whadda ya want mate?

Elma is busy choosing the perfect meal

Elma: *thinking*(What do they expect me to do?!...What do I do?!...I could go for both?!...No that would go over my daily limit! I can't!...But still!)

Sans: Mate, don't push yourself. Take it easy, It's just food. Do you want the ordinary spaghetti or do you want something else?

Elma: why don't **YOU** choose for me?

Sans: Alright, If you say so then, you'll have our limited edition artisan's special spaghetti.

Elma: That sounds tasty. I'll take that!

Sans: Ok so the order is settled and just sit down over there while waiting for your orders.

Everyone except Sans gone through the vacant seat while Sans was pushing the chefs to the limits.

Sans: IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL ARTISANS'S SPECIAL?! WELL IT'S NOT VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO DICKFACE OVER THERE! HURRY UP YOU DONKEYS! LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! THAT'S NOT IN THE FUCKING RECIPE YA SHITHEADS! FUCK OFF YA FAT USELESS SACK OF YANKEE DANKEE DOODLE SHIT! FUCK OFF WILL YA AND HURRY THE FUCK UP! HEY YOU! YOU'RE THE FIRST-CLASS CUNT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO SEND THAT SHIT AGAIN! HOLY FUCK THE PAN BURNT! YOU'RE COOKING IN A BURNT PAN YOU FUCKING DICK! WHERES THE LAMB SAUCE!? WHERE'S THE LAMB SAAAUCE?! ITS RAAAAAAAW!

The scream of anger is so loud that the people outside the kitchen could hear it.

Shouta: What's all that noise about?

Fafnir: Maybe he's "taking care of business" as he told us.

Tohru: Wow, even skeletons are that scary.

Kobayashi: You know there are other places in foreign countries that they made all skeletons scary during halloween.

Tohru: Oh...

 _A few minutes later_

Sans: Order up!

Tohru: Wow! Looks tasty enough

Elma: I agree *suddenly sh'es drooling on her dish*

Kobayashi: Is this even healthy and edible?

Sans: a hundred percent healthy. And, also approved by the health inspector who basically went here a year ago. Oh, did I ever tell you that Gordon Ramsey went here and liked our servings?

Tohru: Who's Gordon Ramsey?

Sans: You'll know him in the near future. But on the mean time, ITADAKIMASU

Everyone: ITADAKIMASU

Everyone enjoyed their meal and everyone went back to the tour van.

Sans: Ya'll mates full?

Everyone: Yes!

Sans:Wait a second, Paps told me there was this girl named Riko Saikawa and he said she was with you guys along with her sister named Georgie Saikawa. Do you guys know about this?

Kanna: Well Saikawa was with me on the boat and she said she and her sister are gonna go to an ice cream truck near the pier.

Sans: Oh shit mate! maybe we left them without knowing.

They went back to the pier and they found the two on a Jake Paul's teens choice awards concert near the place.

Sans: There you are! Why are you here? you're supposed to be touring with me mates.

Saikawa: But the music here is good

Georgie: And I just follow what m'lady says.

Sans: Ok first of all, that concert is cancerous. Second of all, we're not here for the concert; we're here to tour you to the beauty of this land mates! Now cmon you two, let's get touring.

Saikawa: Fine

Georgie: Okay

So the two joined the gang roamed around the city. Until Sans asked Kobayashi something.

Sans: Hey miss K!

Kobayashi: Hm?

Sans: Do you wanna get smashed cuz I saw on the internet that you get smashed pretty intensely.

Kobayashi: What do you mean by getting "smashed"?

Sans: Oh you know, getting drunk?

Kobayashi: Sure, I could use some drinks

Sans: Well if that being said, let's go to Vanilla Unicorn!

At the meantime, they headed to the strip club.

Kobayashi: Why...the hell...did you bring us here? I mean come on, there's kids

Sans: Oh please, kids nowadays used to have sex even if they're 6 or 8.

Kobayashi: Whatever. Let's just go get some drink

Sans: Drinks are on me. LETS GET SMAAAASHED!

They got smashed except for the kids.

Kobayashi: Tooohruuu!

Tohru: Yes Kobayashi-san?

Kobayashi: DIDN'T I TELL YOU THAT COSTUME IS FOR COSPLAY AND NOT FOR A REAL MAID! YOU DISOBEYED ME, NOW STRIP! STRIP LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!

Sans: YES MATE! THIS IS A FUCKING STRIP CLUB NOT SOME KIDDIE PLAYGROUND AND SHIT! AWW SHIT I SHAT ME SELF!

Kobayashi puts out Tohru's clothes

Kobayashi: HIDE THEM! HIDE YOUR BREAST AND LOINS!

Sans: YA MATE! HIDE THEM WITH EMBARASSMENT!

Tohru was too embarassed but Kobayashi was still blinded with drunkness.

Kobayashi: NOT ENOUGH EMBARASSMENT!

Tohru: Oh my, humans are scary

Sans: YOU'RE CALLING ME HUMAN EH?! IM NO FUCKING HUMAN BITCH! I'M A SKELETON DAMMIT!

 _2 hours later_

The gang was now finished drinking and they got back to the tour van. They are now heading for Walmart, one of the biggest shopping centers on Weirdland.

Sans: Ok so we're finished getting smashed, let's move on to our next destination.

Kobayashi: And where exactly is that place?

Sans: Erm, Walmart duh. I told you guys before we're going there.

Saikawa: But I was not there.

Sans: Well it's because you're on a concert of the most cancerous mate who sang "It's everyday bro".

Saikawa: Who's that person?

Sans: Oh you know, Jake Paul. The douche of youtube.

Saikawa: What's Youtube?

Sans: You'll know in the near future. But right now we are going to Walmart.

Saikawa: Eh, fine.

So the gang went to Walmart to buy some stuff again. Kobayashi bought a pile of back-pain relaxer because the pills she bought did not work.

Tohru: Kobayashi-san! What are you going to do with these devices?

Kobayashi: Ehem, back-pain...

Tohru: Understandable. I mean, sometimes you sit weirdly on your office chair.

Kobayashi: Yup.

Sans: Well that's the end of our tour. Y'all had a woderful time?

Everyone: Yes

Sans: Oh and Miss K!

Kobayashi: Hm?

Sans: Your apartment has been placed between the Nutshack apartment and the Casagrande family apartment.

Kobayashi: Could you take me there?

Sans: But what about your other friends?

Kobayashi: They'll find a place to live.

Sans: Ok, so who's gonna be living with you?

Kobayashi: Only Tohru and Kanna.

Sans: Ok, everyone except Kobayashi, Tohru, and Kanna, I'll leave you guys in a stop sign while I take these girls to their respective home. Understand mateheads?

Everyone except Kobayashi, Tohru and Kanna: Yes

Eventually, Sans' phone was suddenly ringing.

Sans: Hold on guys I have another call. *Sans answered his phone* Hey this Sans your one and only smashing mate, how may I help you?

Papyrus: Hey Sans!

Sans: How's it goin' Papyrus? What is it that you're gonna tell?

Papyrus: Kindly bring your friends to their respective home please.

Sans: But what about Lucoa, Shouta, Fafnir, and Elma?

Papyrus: Don't worry, I ordered Mr. Trump to transfer their homes to our country. I'll send you the coordinates to their houses.

Sans: Sure thing mate! Is that it?

Papyrus: Yep. So I'll see you later ye?

Sans: Yes lad, bye!

The conversation ended as our friendly,yet,weird Sans the skeleton brought them to their places.

Kobayashi: So, maybe I'll se ya later?

Sans: Of course, and Kanna!

Kanna: Huh?

Sans: Here's a free Kit-Kat for ya.

Kanna: *chomp* Ohh...

Sans: Hey Tohru!

Tohru: Yes Sans?

Sans: You don't have to hide your tail and wings anymore. This is Weirdland and this country is the land of the free. I mean, there are dragons here too like Ender dragon, Berserk dragons, and many more.

Tohru: I'll keep that in mind.

Sans: Good. So that's it. Gotta go now, have some important business to do and also its 7:34 pm and the sun is coming down.

Kobayashi: Let's call it a day shall we.

Sans: Yup! welp, see you guys later, bye!

Kobayashi, Tohru, and Kanna: Sayonara! (Bye)

As the Sun came down, they lived happily ever after. The end

Extra scene:

Yazawa Nico is still waiting for her food

Nico: I'm still hungry! FUCK!

The real ending

 **Author's note: Ok that's the end of the fanfic here. I added this cuz Kobayashi and the gang might appear on the other chapters. Next time I'll continue the Hotel chapter. As always, I'll see you guys next time. Goodbyeeee!**


	9. What's next?

**This is just an update so please be reminded, mmmkay?**

Hey guys, sorry for not posting chapters on this fanfic though. And I'm thinking about cancelling this story so that I can move on to the next fanfic. It's been great to have someone reading my fanfic. And if you want more, you can check my other cool works that I did. Thanks and have a good day/night.

Lincoln: Yeah, sorry 'bout that. You know why? BECAUSE THE AUTHOR"S GONNA MAKE A FUCKING FANFIC ALL ABOUT ME! (and probably also the prologues of other characters). So yeah, smell y'all Lincoln Louders later! Gucci Loud, OUT!


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